[ This is the worst because he can't even argue it. And Piper's probably had way more actual relationships than him (because he's had more than one) and gotten laid way more (see previous parenthetical) and he is really frustratingly jealous, but from two angles, which is twice as annoying. ]

Yeah, okay, you know what? I retract my statement. If you can land a nine point five while dressed like that, you probably could've done just about anything.