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Comments

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[ This is the worst because he can't even argue it. And Piper's probably had way more actual relationships than him (because he's had more than one) and gotten laid way more (see previous parenthetical) and he is really frustratingly jealous, but from two angles, which is twice as annoying. ]

Yeah, okay, you know what? I retract my statement. If you can land a nine point five while dressed like that, you probably could've done just about anything.

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That was a little backhanded, but I'll take it.

[It's okay James most of his love interests apparently lasted for all of one date because DC is allergic to showing a gay man in a relationship.]

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[ Well, Surprise Teen Dad Club thinks you're doing fine. ]

All my best compliments are backhanded.

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More like "almost all of your compliments are backhanded."

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Puh-lease. What's the nicest thing you've ever said about me, huh?

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I don't know. We've known each other a long time, that's a lot of conversations to remember.

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Mm-hmmmm. Face it, Piper...

[ And he slings an arm around his shoulders. ]

You're almost as bad as I am.

[countdone]

Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.

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Now you're trying to sweet-talk me.

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Pfft. We're good guys now, James, that isn't a compliment anymore.

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Maybe for you. Still kinda makes me all tingly.

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It's too bad you're not still with Harley, then.

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I don't think I'm her kind of bad guy. Or vice versa, if we're being honest.

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Oh, really? What's your kind of bad guy, then?

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Hmmmmm.

[ He taps his chin thoughtfully, leaning against Piper where his arm's still slung around him. ]

Smart and sassy. Cultured but not uptight about it. Knows how to have a good time. Likes animals. Could beat me up and make me thank them for it. Looks good in a black catsuit.

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[WELL THEN...he snorts and gives James a shove.]

I guess if I see Catwoman around I'll let you know. I don't think she'd go for it, though.

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Yeah, that ship sailed...

[ He sounds a little wistful. ]

Oh well! There are plenty of fish in the sea, to mix a metaphor. Who knows — maybe you'll even catch another one one of these days!

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Maybe I will. Then what will you have to say for yourself?

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... what? What's that supposed to mean? Why would I care?

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Well you were talking about it like the idea was ridiculous.

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And then we established that you're a stud or something, sooooo...

[ This line of conversation isn't fun anymore! ]

I'd be fine with it. [ No. ] Hypothetically. [ No. ]

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Hmmm.

[That's not what he was trying to get out of him, but okay.]

Well, that's enough of that, I guess.

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[ What? What the hell was that? James is thoroughly confused, and he hates being confused, but he forces himself to laugh about it anyway. ]

Has anyone ever told you you have a real schoolteachery way of talking sometimes? Or, like, a very patient but overtired mom?

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Well, no one's ever put it quit like that.

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I mean, you're way preferable to my actual mom, jussayin'...