IC CONTACT

[airshow]

( text | call | email | voicemail | action | carrier pigeon | brick through window )

Comments

[itistolaugh]

You've been telling lies. Haven't you, James.

[airshow]

Lucky guess.

[itistolaugh]

I am very disappointed.

[airshow]

[ Oh. Wait. Hang on. This isn't sexy roleplaying, is it? ]

Ohhh, this is about the thing.

[itistolaugh]

Yeah.

The thing.

Also, I'm at your door right now and you got about two seconds before I kick it in.

[airshow]

Clever girl.

[ So the real question is can he make it to the window before she gets through the door? IT'S WORTH A SHOT! ]

[itistolaugh]

[ WELL CONSIDERING THAT 1) she does not give him a headstart, and 2) she is not kicking the door so much as smashing it with a giant heavy hammer ...... mmmmmaaaayb-no. ]

Honey, I'm home!

[airshow]

Harley! Babydoll! Sugarpie! My favorite little honey nut cheerio! We can talk about this!

[ Except that's not a talking kind of hammer, sooooo maybe not. Why didn't he finish that bubble gun cannon? He could use a bubble gum cannon right now! He does have a confetti bomb within easy reach, though, so HAMMER AT THAT. It's... really not much of a diversion. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ UGH she's going to be combing confetti out of her hair for HOURS! Why does he have to be such a dick about getting his ass beat?! ]

Talk about what? About how you're the biggest jerk in the world?

[airshow]

[ Well, he really doesn't want to get his ass beat! Unfortunately it's a small apartment and not very hammer-proof. ]

Okay, that's totally inaccurate! I can name at least three bigger jerks! Burlap McFancy, for starters!

[itistolaugh]

[ Damn it, it is really hard not to laugh at Burlap McFancy. ]

He didn't go to TMI! Why'd you have to drag me into it, huh?! It's not funny when it happens to me!

[airshow]

[ You know how sometimes you can feel yourself about to say exactly the wrong thing, but out it comes anyway? Yeah. ]

It was a little bit funny!

[itistolaugh]

[ AAaaand that hammer is arcing towards his head, probably taking out some items of sentimental and/or monetary value. ]

[airshow]

—yeeeek!

[ Nooo! His head has the most sentimental value of all!

That's a very special Christmas concussion, aaand when the hammer makes contact with Mr. Human Piñata over here, Harley will receive one inflatable flamingo, a squeaky hedgehog, and a koosh ball, all of which bounce unceremoniously to the floor. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ ...

Well that's.

...

Damn it, he's ruined the fun of senseless violence with squeaky toys. How is she supposed to keep up a good rage when she has a squeaky hedgehog? And a flamingo! That's like THEIR THING. ]

I really liked you, you ass.

[airshow]

[ What if he just plays dead. Like a possum. ]

Thaaat— Christ, ow— was pro'bly a mistake.

[itistolaugh]

[ What if she stomps on his dick. ]

[airshow]

[ Really satisfying and not at all manly yelping is what. HE DESERVES THIS AND HE KNOWS IT. ]

[itistolaugh]

You aren't even pretending to be sorry.

[ She opens the window by his workbench and starts tossing shit out. LOOK OUT, BELOW! ]

[airshow]

Hey— what the hell, that's my stuff!

[ Yeah, careful, some of that is non-lethally but very annoyingly explosive. James makes a halfhearted effort to extract himself from his fetal position and do something about it, but really, no dice. ]

Harley, c'mon, it was never about you! You were collateral, that's all! I didn't even name names, that's how nice I am!

[itistolaugh]

I didn't have to be collateral! I didn't have to be implicated at all! You could have picked anybody else or made someone up, but you went and dragged me into it anyway!

[airshow]

Well, surprise surprise, I'm not that nice a guy!

[ He's making a wobbly baby zebra attempt to drag himself to his feet using the arm of the couch. It could be better. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ NOPE, not allowed! She hits him in the chest with the hammer. Down, boy. ]

I thought you were at least better than my ex!

[airshow]

[ WHEEEEEeeeEEEEeeeeeEEEZE ]