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[airshow]

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Comments

[airshow]

Well, since you asked so nicely!
Gimme like 10 minutes and I'll be by with the once and future hermit crab king.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

oh my susan stryker, sorry!! thank you adult!!! [MommaRipley would be appalled to know she momentarily forgot her manners! She was just so excited about hermit crabs...]

[airshow]

Hahaha, nooo, don't apologize! Never apologize!
I'm just thrilled that you're so enthusiastic about crabbery!

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

why WOULDN'T i be enthusiastic about crabbery!?

well

sometimes albert (thats my dudetype glitter crab) pinches my fingers and i guess that's a reason i could be not so enthusiastic but it's not enough of a reason! that's just albert being albert. he's just cranky a lot


maybe even crabby!! [Look Tricks! she can make terrible puns too!]

[airshow]

[ He's so proud. ]

Those are the risks you take when you play the crustacean game!

[ Anyway, not too much later, there's a knock at the door. ]

Knock knock! Special crab delivery!

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[Pretty much as soon as he knocks Ripley THROWS the door open.]

Heeeeeeeeeeello! Where do I sign for my crab package?

[airshow]

[ The sparklecrab has a little sparkly gift bow on its head and everything. ]

No signature needed! IF! You can prove you're actually who you say you are and not a doppelganger! You can never be too careful in the delivery business.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[LE GASP. Fredrick is even more perfect with a bow!]

Quick, ask me a question only the real me would know! Like where I was born, or what my favourite colour is! Except not those ones. Cause if I was a doppelganger then I coulda picked those questions cause I already know the answers.

...Also I don't think you know the answers.

[airshow]

Oh. Right. You raise an excellent point, tiny crab farmer.

[ The answer seems to satisfy him, and he sets the stuffed crab atop Ripley's head. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[INTERNAL SCREAM OF JOY.]

[EXTERNAL SCREAM OF JOY.] He’s so perfect! Fredrick is gonna sit over the tank and look down on all his subjects. [She can see it already… He needs a tiny paper crown.]

Oh, oh, oh! You wanna see my crab tank?

[airshow]

I absolutely want to see your crab tank!

[ It's a good thing this is a harmlessly strange adult to let into your house, kiddo. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

['Bad Judgement' is her middle name. But it's probs okay, she lives with actual Death so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]

Come on, look look look! [She grabs his sleeve and pulls him to the living room, to her little crab set up with her two sparkle crabs.]

So that one, [She points to one of the hermit crabs that's tucked itself into it's shell], that one's Madonna, and Albert's over there! [and she points towards the other one ripping up and eating a piece of apple.]

[airshow]

Man, oh, man, this is like a regular crab resort up in here! You're gonna spoil 'em.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

You heard the part where the lady one's named Madonna, right? Cause that and the spoiling them thing are not a coincidence.

[airshow]

Ah, so she's a crab celebrity.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Obviously.

Can't you tell that she's a material girl? Living in a material world!