oh my susan stryker, sorry!! thank you adult!!! [MommaRipley would be appalled to know she momentarily forgot her manners! She was just so excited about hermit crabs...]
sometimes albert (thats my dudetype glitter crab) pinches my fingers and i guess that's a reason i could be not so enthusiastic but it's not enough of a reason! that's just albert being albert. he's just cranky a lot
maybe even crabby!! [Look Tricks! she can make terrible puns too!]
[ The sparklecrab has a little sparkly gift bow on its head and everything. ]
No signature needed! IF! You can prove you're actually who you say you are and not a doppelganger! You can never be too careful in the delivery business.
[LE GASP. Fredrick is even more perfect with a bow!]
Quick, ask me a question only the real me would know! Like where I was born, or what my favourite colour is! Except not those ones. Cause if I was a doppelganger then I coulda picked those questions cause I already know the answers.
[EXTERNAL SCREAM OF JOY.] He’s so perfect! Fredrick is gonna sit over the tank and look down on all his subjects. [She can see it already… He needs a tiny paper crown.]
['Bad Judgement' is her middle name. But it's probs okay, she lives with actual Death so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]
Come on, look look look! [She grabs his sleeve and pulls him to the living room, to her little crab set up with her two sparkle crabs.]
So that one, [She points to one of the hermit crabs that's tucked itself into it's shell], that one's Madonna, and Albert's over there! [and she points towards the other one ripping up and eating a piece of apple.]
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I'm just thrilled that you're so enthusiastic about crabbery!
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well
sometimes albert (thats my dudetype glitter crab) pinches my fingers and i guess that's a reason i could be not so enthusiastic but it's not enough of a reason! that's just albert being albert. he's just cranky a lot
maybe even crabby!! [Look Tricks! she can make terrible puns too!]
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Those are the risks you take when you play the crustacean game!
[ Anyway, not too much later, there's a knock at the door. ]
Knock knock! Special crab delivery!
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Heeeeeeeeeeello! Where do I sign for my crab package?
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No signature needed! IF! You can prove you're actually who you say you are and not a doppelganger! You can never be too careful in the delivery business.
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Quick, ask me a question only the real me would know! Like where I was born, or what my favourite colour is! Except not those ones. Cause if I was a doppelganger then I coulda picked those questions cause I already know the answers.
...Also I don't think you know the answers.
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[ The answer seems to satisfy him, and he sets the stuffed crab atop Ripley's head. ]
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[EXTERNAL SCREAM OF JOY.] He’s so perfect! Fredrick is gonna sit over the tank and look down on all his subjects. [She can see it already… He needs a tiny paper crown.]
Oh, oh, oh! You wanna see my crab tank?
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[ It's a good thing this is a harmlessly strange adult to let into your house, kiddo. ]
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Come on, look look look! [She grabs his sleeve and pulls him to the living room, to her little crab set up with her two sparkle crabs.]
So that one, [She points to one of the hermit crabs that's tucked itself into it's shell], that one's Madonna, and Albert's over there! [and she points towards the other one ripping up and eating a piece of apple.]
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Can't you tell that she's a material girl? Living in a material world!