airshow | IC CONTACT

Lemons? How is that less confusing?

There was a whole citrus-based— you know what, not important.

"Irvin returns from being ported out again with new memories of home, and it changes how he sees Gregory. In the aftermath of the end of the war, can they finally express their love?" Oh man, I bet they totally can.

James, I'm giving you fair warning. If you keep going, I am going to kick you in the face. And you've been warned, so you can't complain if it breaks your nose.

[ FRENZIED SCROLLING ]

Sorry, can't hear you, trying to find the erotica.

[ He grabs a box of Francisco's raisins from where he'd set them on his nightstand earlier and flings it at James' head, where it promptly explodes into a shower of dehydrated grapes.

The chinchilla is delighted. ]

[ He is only momentarily deterred, and Piper should be very alarmed by the suddenly much wider grin on his face. ]

Oh, hey, this looks like dick touching! Now we're getting somewhere.

[ Piper kicks the phone out of his hand. ]

Hey hey hey hey! Buddy!

[ He scrambles back toward the foot of the bed to avoid any followup kicks. ]

Careful! You're going to squish Francisco.

[ Francisco is still going apeshit over the number of raisins all over the bed. ]

He's too fat to get squished.

[ James folds his arms petulantly. ]

Doesn't even wanna listen to my dramatic readings...

I didn't want to send you the link in the first place!

Fine, so who are you sending sexy sex stories to?

[ NOT LIKE HE CARES ]

—Saying it like that makes it sound much weirder than it actually is.

Tell me about the non-weird way to send your buddies porno.

...Mick's a fan of the author.

Also you sent me "porno" [ Yes, he did air quotes. ] of you getting it from a fictional spaceship captain! After I repeatedly asked you not to.

And I stand by that! Wait wait wait, you mean— oh my g— it was for Mick?!

[ Sorry, he's just gonna double over laughing like the goddamn dog from Wacky Races. ]

[ ...Okay, Piper sees the easy out here and takes a moment if it's worth it to throw Mick under the bus like that to get James' laser focus of humiliation off of him.

It's a very short moment. Sorry, Mick. ]

He writes them himself, too.

Piper. Piper.

[ He practically pounces on him, grabbing the front of Piper's shirt in both hands with a look on his face like someone just told him they invented a new kind of diamonds that honk. ]

Tell me his username.