airshow | IC CONTACT

well shade too but i dunno if he counts i mean id barely heard of him i think he only really likes jay

hey look can you maybe not break into anywhere or steal anything? i know you said you might have a lapse but i mean this world has a lot of things going on right now a lot of places have been bombed recently and someone was just killed

or maybe if you did really get tempted can you wait until things are a little less tense? i think kf would appreciate it too

[Bart Allen, ladies and gentlemen]

[ It's a really good thing this conversation is happening over text, because James stares at that message for a really, really long moment, wondering just exactly what kind of ridiculous karmic retribution this kid is supposed to be (and if the universe laid on the guilt any thicker, he'd lose it), before he replies. ]

Well. Since you asked so nice.

[ And as long as the guilt's gnawing a hole in him... ]

And don't you worry about Piper, either. He's the genuine article. A real good guy. Probably the goodest good guy I know, and that includes the Justice League types.

crash thanks jj

[You better bet that Bart will be calling you that from now until the end of time, Trickster. And you have no one to blame but yourself.]

i knew someone like that i mean hes different now but from where im from

you ever heard of neutron?

Heard of him. Nuclear guy, right?

yeah he did a lot of moded stuff where im from and killed a bunch of people but he also helped me out

[It's weird- Bart's never told anyone about Nathaniel. About what he did under the Reach's influence, how he carried that guilt around, believed himself to be the worst of all bad guys. And yet, something about what Trickster said about Piper, about him being an honest to god good guy despite what Bart knew him as?

It's suddenly really important that he makes sure James knows Bart actually understands, and isn't just nodding and smiling and accepting it only to shrug it off later. Because, well, a lot of people just don't get why Bart always talks to "bad guys" before getting up in arms about them, no matter what's said.]

i guess he was kinda my only friend growing up so i totally get it if you say pipers a good guy i believe you

Huh. Sounds like you do get it.

You're a swell kid, Bart.

you seem pretty crash too

i mean for a maybe retired bad guy

No maybe. Definitely retired. 100% not into that anymore.

totally believing you dude but i mean gotta prove it to solidify it or something right

anyway kf and i are here with our team so well probably be the ones checking in hey do you like burgers cause theres a totally crash place in downtown heropa

I like most food! The junkier, the better.

crash then we can totally meet there sometimes i mean someone needs to keep an eye on you guys right

[And from how badly Wally reacted to seeing Tricks and Piper on Bart's- er. Lightning addled post - it was probably best that Bart was the one who kept an eye on things, right?]

Are you my parole officer now?

HA! parole officer hey i like that it sounds crash and i mean yeah basically

but yeah i trust you not to do anything bad if you say you wont but itll be easier to tell kf you arent doing things if i know you arent so i mean you can text or call or ill text or call you and we can grab food every now and then so i know for SURE you arent lying about anything

[This is the BEST PLAN IN THE WORLD. Look at him. Doing her stuff. Wally might actually be proud if he wasn't being such a stick in the mud.

... Or at least Bart hopes his cousin would be proud.]

Honesty through cheeseburgers. I like it, kid.

honesty through FREE cheeseburgers i mean you cant be evil when youre getting legally free food

[Bart puts a lot of stock in burgers]

Okay okay okay, important clarification: I was never EVIL. I was morally ambiguous.

But free cheeseburgers are good either way. It's been a while. I gotta catch up on my junk food.

hmmmmm ok so youd steal things but not really hurt anyone?

so
would you steal from a charity or a shelter?

[Bad guy level tests with Bart Allen, ladies and gentlemen]

Is this a test?

That was never my thing.
It wasn't about the money. Money's easy to get. It was about making people NOTICE.
More people pay attention if you nab one diamond-studded bowtie off some rich guy's neck than if you rob every homeless shelter in the city blind.

Sometimes I'd even give back the cash at the end just to mess with them.

I haven't done that kind of thing in ages anyway. It's just as much fun + you stay out of prison if you hoodwink the bad guys and then donate the $$$. More fulfilling. Keeps the devil off your back (literally). Et cetera.

Reasons to give up villainy. I could run a seminar.

you should!! dude you totally should itd be the crashest thing ever i mean just think about it im sure theres a ton of other people out there who just like the fun of it i think shades kinda like that too

and i mean i know some people just like proving theyre smarter somehow or can be one step ahead and others just like fighting so if someone told people about better ways to do stuff and if it didnt just come from heroes and police it might work

I did a few college lectures on the supervillain mentality back in the day. Maybe I could pick it up again.