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Comments

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Besides myself?

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Yes, besides yourself. I know you can't resist at least giving some people joke gifts.

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Because my joke gifts are hilarious!

Let's see. Ripley, for sure. Barry. Bart. Wally. Probably that nerd with the hair. Maybe the Shade? Ramir's my boss now so I should probably get her something. Harley if she doesn't figure out I did that one thing and kill me before Christmas. That guy who tried to file a missing persons report with me and then I offered to make him pancakes, maybe, he's hilarious.

Oh, and you, if you've been good.

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"If I've been good?"

I was just wondering because I was trying to decide if it'd be too weird for me to get a present for Wally. And Bart and Barry, too.

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It's not weird. Why would it be weird?

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I don't really know any of them very well...not these versions of them, anyway.

[But he wants them to LIKE HIM!!! And he's attached the Bart and Wally he knows, so.]

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So what? Do it anyway! Do any of them seem like the type to go, "oh no, free presents"?

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....Yeah, I guess not. That much hasn't changed between universes.

Except with Barry.

[Can you even imagine.]

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Except with Barry.

Do you want me to co-gift with you, you weenie?

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I'm not too much of a weenie to give presents by myself.

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"Merry Anti-Capitalist X-Mas From Uncle Hart & Uncle JJ

(Contents Under Pressure, Do Not Shake)"

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Would you really want to be part of Anti-Capitalist Christmas?

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Hell, I'll try anything once.

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Well, maybe I'll just have to hold you to that.

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By all means.

What do you people do, anyway?
I mean what's on the approved list of socialist holiday fun?

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Things like giving toys to children who wouldn't have them otherwise.

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So pretty much the same stuff you do the rest of the year?
You're gonna make Saint Nick look like a slacker, pal.

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Well, he should step up his game then.

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He should! Plus he owes me a whole childhood's worth of back presents.

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You were on the naughty list? I'm shocked.

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OMG I WAS AN ANGEL :(

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Angel is one of the last words I'd ever associate with you.

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Maybe I'm overcompensating for a terrible childhood, Pipey.
Maybe I'm just acting out for attention.
Maybe love really IS all I need.

And also material wealth.

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Yeah, angels don't need material wealth.

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0:'(
I'm gonna come over there and whack you with a harp, dick.