airshow | IC CONTACT

This is what happens when you do the thing. Could have avoided by not doing it at all. But now I'm forced to open with the disappointed dad thing. :| THAT IS MY DISAPPOINTED DAD FACE.

1) I'm sure she'll appreciate the compliment, but might appreciate you saying I'm sorry even more. She probably won't hit you with a broom just once. Don't buy too many.

2) Oh good! Because otherwise I was going to give you this trick my mom once did when I was little.

...A plan. That involved you getting hit by mustard by my mortal enemy. PS: Kind of was hoping to avoid him knowing knowing you. Having a reason to want to maim you. Because I think we can agree, not a good thing to happen to you.

1) I can be very charming when I want to. It'll be the greatest apology anyone has ever given. Gonna knock her socks off, just you watch.

2) I'm glad we're close enough to trade laundry tips now.

Being hit with my own mustard wasn't necessarily part of the plan, but I'm adaptable. Anyway, he obviously doesn't think I'm a threat, but that's his problem. I've got years of experience on him. Your concern is touching, though ♥

Anyway, I'm already technically a dead man, so what's the worst that can happen?

1) I can't actually tell if you're telling me to actually watch or not and that speaks volumes about both of us, I think.

2) I'll remind you of what you told me our last conversation if you're feeling like making fun of that again. ♥

It doesn't matter if he thinks you're a threat, he doesn't care if you're a threat or not, he might murder you if I give you too much attention for all I know.

You can be double dead? Break the laws of dead-dom even more? I'd like you to not be dead by his hand. Or mine. I'd like you to not be dead in general, but hey not one of the powers.

Yikes. I can't tell if that makes him sound like a jealous boyfriend or an exceptionally badly behaved pussycat and I'm honestly not sure which is worse.

I'd also like to not be dead, just in general. Trust me, it blows. 0/10, would not recommend. I'm just saying, though, I've met scarier folks.

I think both, but at least the cat might be able to be trained not to do something. Or you could just pick it up. Not so much him. I'm mentally scarring myself the more I think about this.

Why would anyone recommend being dead? I mean ignoring the whole dead = not being able to recommend anything in the first place. That's cool and all, but question, are any of those scarier people actually here?

Note to self: befriend magician, turn Eobard Thawne into relatively harmless kitty.

Not here at the moment, but you never know. I guess technically he makes the top of the list by default, though. Good for him. Mr. Scary Voice.

Relatively harmless except he might still have superspeed? Imagine a cat with superspeed. :/

It's not that scary. I CAN DO IT TOO. But since he's on the list by default, I ca still be worried and concerned about your well being. I would probably be regardless but extra amounts now.

You're right. That's actually way scarier than a person with superspeed. Abandon Plan Kitty.

I'm touched by your concern, really. It's just I'm kind of the stick a fork in a light socket to find out what happens type of person.

I'm really hoping he doesn't try and read these texts later. There's no way I'll be able to explain this.

...James, while that's good and normally I'd tell you to do you. Forks + light sockets = usually dead or at least really messed up hair.

Seriously.

Even if you only get messed up hair, the idea of you potentially ending with dead is enough to give me gray ones.

I meant that slightly less than literally, but, again, I'm touched.

:|

JUST TELL ME YOU WON'T STICK THE FORK IN THE SOCKET.

Please. No fork in your hand will go into Eobard's metaphorical socket. Just. It will just make me feel better if you tell me you won't do it again.

And ignore how bad that sounded.

EEEEEEEW.

Look, if you're telling me not to fork Eobard, I can assure you, he's not my type.

I'm telling you to not.

YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I'M TELLING YOU NOT TO DO.

I WILL FLASH DAD LECTURE YOU FOR REAL.

Uuuuuuuugh you're even more of a buzzkill than my real dad. MUST YOU MURDER MY FUN?

Not that I WANT to fork him. Or spoon him. Or whatever metaphorical utensil.

Gross. G-R-O-S-S. If he reads this, it's ALL YOUR FAULT, FLASH.

WHEN THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF FUN, YES. i must murder your fun even though usually i'm definitely not the my usual reaction.

IT'S...he won't read this.

you're avoiding telling me you won't do the thing. DON'T THINK THAT'S SLIPPING BY ME. SUPERSPEED APPLIES TO THE BRAIN TOO.