IC CONTACT

[airshow]

( text | call | email | voicemail | action | carrier pigeon | brick through window )

Comments

[countdone]

Sure seems like you're my problem most of the time.

[airshow]

You know what reeeally sucks? [ James complains, as he grabs his own jacket and puts it on. Because he's totally giving in to Piper just kind of showing up out of the blue and telling him what to do without any kind of actual reward for his relatively good behavior here and goddammit that's so annoying. ]

I don't even know how to take comments like that. Like, is that a declaration of friendship? Are you telling me you wish I'd come and moped on your couch instead of this couch? Am I being vaguely insulted? All of the above? I mean, I'm pretty great at reading people, but you are a real goddamn mystery sometimes.

[countdone]

[Most of the above.

(James moping on his couch would be awkward.)]

Yeah, that's me, sooooo mysterious.

[Okay time for some real emotional sincerity.]

You're a pain in the ass, James, but one I happen to care about--a lot.

[airshow]

[ James just kind of... stares. For a minute. He looks like he might actually say something. He thinks he might actually say something! But then he just opens the door, holding it for Piper like a gentleman. ]

Look, if we're gonna have actual feelings, can we have them outside? Because I don't wanna do this in someone else's living room.

[ God please say you walked and he doesn't have to cling on the moped. ]

[countdone]

I'm sure our friends would enjoy the show.

[Subtle acknowledgement of Love Doctor Cisco.]

But, yeah, we should probably get going.

[Piper heads out the door. Luckily for James, there is no moped waiting outside.]

[airshow]

[ Thank god. They can walk. ]

So, seriously, you came over just because he asked? [ He's still skeptical. And confused. And cranky. ] ... Because you just care so darn much?

[countdone]

He was pretty insistent about it.

[Piper that's not helping.]

But does it really seem that weird to you for me to be...I don't know, worried about you?

[airshow]

Wouldn't be weird if I bought that you were actually worried. [ Harsh but true. ] Buuut it kinda seems more like you're picking up your kid from daycare.

[countdone]

There might be a bit of that in there, too.

[Also harsh.]

But I couldn't just leave you there.

[airshow]

Soooo in that case, what are you gonna do with me, Mister Extremely Concerned Bestest Friend?

[countdone]

Escort you home?

[Annnnd then go back to thinking about things. Alone.]

[airshow]

So I can mope all by myself in the ball pit?

[ YOU'RE A DICK. ]

[countdone]

Is that your way of asking me to stay?

[airshow]

It's my way of calling BS on you being worried about my emotional well-being and not just embarrassed that you're my emergency contact.

[countdone]

I could've just left you there.

[Now look who's pouting.]

[airshow]

[ Don't— don't pout. ]

You didn't even ask how I'm doing. C'mon, even the nerd was more sympathetic than this.

[countdone]

Right, well...I was distracted by other things, I guess.

[Ohhhhhhhh boy.]

[airshow]

Uh-huh, like what?

[ What could be more important than PIPER'S ALLEGED CONCERN FOR HIS FEELINGS? ]

[countdone]

It's...nothing important. Sorry.

[Shit shit shit shit shit shit.]

[airshow]

And still more important than moi! Astounding.

[ And not surprising. Jesus. James doesn't care what it was, just that he is correct and vindicated and also completely justified in being kind of bitter. At Piper or at himself or both? Who knows anymore. ]

Look, man, it's okay. I know you don't actually take me seriously, and it's not like I've ever done a damn thing to try and change that. You don't have to fake it for my sake, 'cause you're doing a really bad job at it.

[countdone]

If you want people to take you seriously maybe you should take something seriously for more than three minutes! And not say you were joking or something after those three minutes are up.

[Uggggggggh why didn't he just stay home.]

[airshow]

[ Oh. Is that how it is? ]

Yeah? [ James takes a step, and another, and ends up in front of Piper, cutting him off on the sidewalk. He smiles his "we are not actually having a good time" smile. ] And what if I did?

[countdone]

Maybe if you did I wouldn't have trouble reading you.

[Annnnd there it is.]

[airshow]

Maybe I wouldn't be that hard to read if you actually.

Paid.

Attention.

[airshow]

[ AND THEN HE STEALS PIPER'S GLASSES RIGHT OFF HIS FACE. ]

Yoink!