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[airshow]

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[airshow]

[ He washes it down with the rest of the slurpee. Gross. ]

You're not my mom.

[pobrecisco]

Yeah, thankfully. But what were you saying?

[airshow]

Nothin'. Just last I heard you were trying and failing to date a bird.

[pobrecisco]

I wasn't failing, Kendra and I dated and broke up. It happens!

[airshow]

Well, that sure ain't success, pal!

[pobrecisco]

[ He opens the capsule that has the little sticky hand in it and whips it out so it smacks James in the face. ]

Yeah, well, speaking of failure, how'd talking to Hartley go?

[airshow]

Ow! Always with the abuse!

[ This whiny butthead. ]

I'm gonna guess you already know the answer to that.

[pobrecisco]

Always with the you deserving it!

So what happened? I told him you were serious, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer on what he thought of that.

[airshow]

[ Oh. OH, WHAT. James sits up very straight, wide-eyed and glaring. ]

You what?

[pobrecisco]

[ Dryly: ] I told him you want to marry him and adopt 2.5 kids and a dog and do the whole white picket fence thing.

[airshow]

[ NARROWS

EYES

And in his best opinionated nerd voice: ] How heteronormative.

No way you told him that, 'cause he would've died laughing, so what'd you actually say? Spill.

[pobrecisco]

I told him you like him, okay? I'm pretty sure he didn't believe me.

[ He considers telling James about the picture he sent him, but decides against it. ]

[airshow]

What is this, middle school?

[ And this might be the first time Cisco's seen him Actually Angry, instead of his usual half-joking immature sulking. ]

You don't know anything about it, or him, or me, or anything. You can't just wheedle that kind of info out of a guy and then go behind his back with it because you want him off your couch!

[pobrecisco]

[ Okay, that's actually kind of startling. Cisco's immediately on the defensive, sitting up and getting his feet under him under the ball pit. He immediately realizes that James is right, he doesn't actually know much about him. Other than that he was a supervillain. ]

I was just trying to help.

[airshow]

[ The severity of the situation is somewhat dulled, admittedly, by the slurpee and the zebra cake and the ball pit, but his eyes say you done goofed. ]

You let me make an ass out of myself! More than usual!

[pobrecisco]

[ The ridiculousness of their surroundings is the only reason Cisco isn't a whole lot more worried right now. Some part of him is wondering if he should be thinking about calling Barry or M for a quick getaway, though. ]

Hey, if you made an ass out of yourself, that's not my fault. He asked why you were moping all over my couch, so I told him!

[airshow]

And look at alllll the good it did!

[ He spreads his arms wide. Gesturing to the fact that he's clearly alone in a ballpit of his own making. ]

[pobrecisco]

[ He hesitates, but curiosity gets the better of him. ]

...So what did you say to him?

[airshow]

Not much. He asked why I was moping on your couch. Which, hell, he apparently knew the answer to the whole time! That son of a bitch kept playing me anyway!

[pobrecisco]

[ He really wishes that were more surprising. As much as he's currently wishing he hadn't gotten in the middle of this, he really does kind of want to yell at the both of them to get their shit together. ]

...Man, okay, I get that you're pissed at me, and I'm sorry. You're right, I overstepped. That wasn't cool.

But jesus you guys are bad at this.

[airshow]

How many happily married supervillains, current or former, do you know, Cisco?

[pobrecisco]

Okay, that's not a reasonable question when we've only had supervillains for like a year and a half in my world. But what, do you think you guys don't get a shot at being happy because you used to rob banks?

[airshow]

This isn't some kind of martyr thing! I'm saying it literally doesn't happen.

[pobrecisco]

Well why not?

[airshow]

What, for real? You mean besides the glaring personality deficits that make a guy think, "Gee, you know what I'm gonna do today? Put on rainbow tights and steal diamonds!" I dunno, man, it's a freakin' mystery!