Well, yeah, okay, maybe I was. Maybe I'm having a midlife crisis. Been stuck in another universe for a year, can't go home on account of being dead as a very handsome doornail, just went through a literally painful kinda-breakup, maybe I'm kinda lonely... a guy's entitled to mope!
[ Because arguing is already making him grumpy. He drags himself off the couch, runsa hand through his hair, and stretches. Ow. He's been lying around all day. ]
... Y'know, I can't believe you actually showed up.
Beeeecaaaause I'm not your problem? I mean, I just didn't figure your response to "Trickster's bumming me out, come scrape him off our couch" would be "Yeah, sure, I'll get my coat."
You know what reeeally sucks? [ James complains, as he grabs his own jacket and puts it on. Because he's totally giving in to Piper just kind of showing up out of the blue and telling him what to do without any kind of actual reward for his relatively good behavior here and goddammit that's so annoying. ]
I don't even know how to take comments like that. Like, is that a declaration of friendship? Are you telling me you wish I'd come and moped on your couch instead of this couch? Am I being vaguely insulted? All of the above? I mean, I'm pretty great at reading people, but you are a real goddamn mystery sometimes.
[ James just kind of... stares. For a minute. He looks like he might actually say something. He thinks he might actually say something! But then he just opens the door, holding it for Piper like a gentleman. ]
Look, if we're gonna have actual feelings, can we have them outside? Because I don't wanna do this in someone else's living room.
[ God please say you walked and he doesn't have to cling on the moped. ]
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Shockingly enough, most people don't like it when you spend days on their couch uninvited.
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[He's not above bribery, especially if it can stop this from being Long and Awkward.
(But he knows it probably can't.)]
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[ Now he's just being stubborn. ]
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[Hahahaha like he doesn't know the answer but he can't just bring it up, soooo....]
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[ Oh god, DID HE??? ]
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[Time to test his lying skills.]
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Well, yeah, okay, maybe I was. Maybe I'm having a midlife crisis. Been stuck in another universe for a year, can't go home on account of being dead as a very handsome doornail, just went through a literally painful kinda-breakup, maybe I'm kinda lonely... a guy's entitled to mope!
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Oh, like that matters to you.
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[ Because arguing is already making him grumpy. He drags himself off the couch, runsa hand through his hair, and stretches. Ow. He's been lying around all day. ]
... Y'know, I can't believe you actually showed up.
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[Perhaps someone who didn't want to come over here shouldn't be asking that, but.]
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I don't even know how to take comments like that. Like, is that a declaration of friendship? Are you telling me you wish I'd come and moped on your couch instead of this couch? Am I being vaguely insulted? All of the above? I mean, I'm pretty great at reading people, but you are a real goddamn mystery sometimes.
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(James moping on his couch would be awkward.)]
Yeah, that's me, sooooo mysterious.
[Okay time for some real emotional sincerity.]
You're a pain in the ass, James, but one I happen to care about--a lot.
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Look, if we're gonna have actual feelings, can we have them outside? Because I don't wanna do this in someone else's living room.
[ God please say you walked and he doesn't have to cling on the moped. ]
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[Subtle acknowledgement of Love Doctor Cisco.]
But, yeah, we should probably get going.
[Piper heads out the door. Luckily for James, there is no moped waiting outside.]
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So, seriously, you came over just because he asked? [ He's still skeptical. And confused. And cranky. ] ... Because you just care so darn much?
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[Piper that's not helping.]
But does it really seem that weird to you for me to be...I don't know, worried about you?
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